I have never seen so many packages. Not even at the UPS Store.
First, this video opens with vague phallic symbols, which progress into total, outright, phallic symbols.
I honestly thought it wouldn't be this bad. I thought, OK, maybe there'd be some shots of guys in a g-string, at worst. But at least, it'd be an instructive yoga video. I'm 28 years old, and I'm still naive. So naive.
All cards on the table? I didn't do yoga along with this one. How could I?
The video began with three oiled up men in white g-strings lying close to each other, with their packages clearly visible under their tiny-whities. Never mind that they were lying on some dark-blue velvet blanket, they were on the top of a hill, which sloped downwards. I kept thinking, "They're going into down dog, and then toppling down the hill into some cacti." Then it got worse.
Biggest problems with Hot Male Yoga? The yogis aren't good at yoga. Their rippled, oiled muscles prevent them from doing the poses correctly. Their positioning struck me as the kind of yoga I do after a nine hour flight to Europe--slow, eyes closed, jerking, and lacking in flexibility. Except, for me, there'd be no cameras checking back on my pelvis every two minutes.
Most shocking about this video? That there was a "casting director" whose only job, I'm guessing, was to hit up a couple gay bars and ask struggling gay actors if they like yoga. "Would you like to do yoga with a couple hot guys, on hotter rocks in the desert outside LA? Yes! Great! You've been cast! Here's your g-string!"
The background music was creepy, and so was the female voice who narrated this stilted, poorly done "work out" video. She reminded me of Janeane Garofalo's voice, but in a creepy-nice sort of way.
This video gets a Vidercise 1 out of 5 stars. This video isn't even suggested for gay men. You will neither get excited, nor buff from watching this video, so don't even bother.
As for me, I'm going to go watch some straight guys on Entourage now.
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