Sunday, August 31, 2008

Carmen Electra is My Homegirl


To the back, around, stick your booty out! Yay!

"Should I shave before doing this workout video?"

That's the question running through my head as I put on my gym shorts and ready myself for
Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease.

Carmen, ever bubbly and wide eyed flirts with me (possibly my boyfriend who's watching all of this?) via the TV. Her voice is breathy, and we haven't even begun the workout. I begin to feel woefully unsexy as she takes me through the begining warm up. Damn it. I should have shaved, and put on at least some eyeliner for this.

As the movements progress simply from warming up with some traditional dance moves to slow practices of stripper moves, I realize the difference between the Carmen, her back up girls, and me: they have no inner-thigh jiggle. None. My curvy, female-Roman-statue-like body makes my hip jutting, body waving movements seem amateurish. Clearly, this stuff is going to require more practice and calorie-burning.

I feel some stretching and toning through my abs, glutes, and thighs as the video progresses. I learn how to go from a prone position (stomach up, butt on the floor) to sexily standing up in three movements. This move may have some real-world use if I remove the ass-waving part from the routine.

There's something oddly satisfying about learning these moves, though. Carmen makes them pretty easy and by the end, I feel like I'm ready to move on to another round of strip aerobics. Unfortunately, the DVD is a bit of a tease.

One warm up and one work out are on the DVD, along with a overly serious "interview" portion of the DVD (this is strip aerobics, people, not physical therapy for the aged!). By the time it was all over, I was flipping through the DVD for more features---guess I'll have to rent the next one to progress, but that's how workout DVD series are supposed to get you, right? "Buy the next one and be even sexier!! Yay!!"

Well, surprise, bitches, I'm renting these DVD's a Scarecrow for the whole week! And two for one on Wednesdays! There won't be any buying here, so tease away!

On the Vidercise scale of 1 to 5, I give this DVD a 3. The workout was fun, kept my mind occupied, and I learned a *ahem* skill --stripping-- while working out. While it was incredibly simple, I still felt the burn.




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